EXCLUSIVE: Interview with the Laurel Park elf!
The Biz- December 10, 2022
The rumors started a week or two ago, but they were easy to ignore: an elf on the Laurel Park backside?
Puh-leeze.
But nevertheless, they persisted. The rumors, that is. And then came the photographs, and soon it became impossible to ignore the mounting evidence.
And so we conducted an investigation and are pleased to present an exclusive interview with Laurel Park’s newest visitor, an elf. Our questions are in bold-face, while Elf’s answers are regular type.
Name: Elf.
Occupation: Elf.
Where are you from? Where else? The North Pole.
How old are you? I’m just a young elf, 102 this year!
What do you do for Santa when you’re not at Laurel? Well I’m too young to have a good job. I just hand out cookies to all the elves who get to make toys. Someday, though, I’ll be able to make toys!
What about being a dentist like Hermey the Elf? Have you tried that? Hermey the Elf!!! He is a great dentist, but I don’t like teeth. Did you know that reindeer do not have upper teeth?!
Umm, no. No, I didn’t know that. Elf is smart!
Wait. You say your name is Elf. Does that make you Elf the Elf? Yes. It’s confusing, but Elf does the best I can.
Why did you decide to come to Laurel Park? Because I watched Santa’s reindeer and decided I wanted to FLY!!! I says to myself, “Elf, I’m going to ride the reindeer!” But it turns out the reindeer don’t want to be ridden. They just want to pull Santa’s sleigh and fly. So my good friend Buddy the Elf says he watches the races, and he says I should go to the track, pour some magic dust on a racehorse and fly on them!
That’s… umm… an interesting plan. I told you: Elf is smart!
Laurel’s a long way from the North Pole. How did you get here? I followed Buddy’s instructions! I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the Sea of Swirly-Twirly Gumdrops, and then caught a lift to Woodbine Racetrack. That’s where I snuck a ride on an international transport truck here to Laurel Park!
[Interview continues below gallery]ELF GALLERY
While you’ve been here, you’ve done several different jobs. What’s your favorite job? Well, hotwalking is WAY too difficult. Going around and around in circles makes me dizzy. AND grooming is also WAY too hard! Starting at 4:30 in the morning, being here all day and THEN staying for the races?!?! No, thanks!
Elf thinks she wants to be an exercise rider! They don’t get to work until 5:30 and are done by 10:00! That’s the life! But I’ve also noticed these people that just stand around and drink coffee and watch the horses…. This also looks like a good job for Elf! If I can only figure out what that job is…
You say all the jobs are too hard. Maybe you should retire. Are there retired elves? Well, we can retire if we want to, but why would anyone want to?! My dream is to be the head reindeer trainer! But there is a long list ahead of me and as I said, not many elves retire….
You mentioned wanting to fly on a racehorse. If you could ride any horse, who would it be? Well, my favorite reindeer is named Spirit, the tiny white reindeer. So I would like to sprinkle my magic dust on Fille d’Esprit (which means Spirit Girl in English) and fly away!
She’s a good one. I hope you get the chance (and don’t fall off!). Thank you. Elf has high hopes.
Oh, one last thing: Got a tip in the seventh? My favorite jockey is Horacio Karamanos…. I’m thinking I could be his agent! So I’d pick whichever horse he is riding!
Thanks, Elf!
Elf will be at Laurel Park through Christmas, and you can follow her exploits at the Maryland Thoroughbred Horsemen’s Association Facebook page.
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